Many of you know I lost one of my grandmas last month. Since she has been gone, I have been thinking and looking over all the things I have done in my life. I have been wondering if I would be ready when God calls me home. To me, I don't think I would be ready right now. I have had many conflicts with God.
For one, I have a medical problem since I was born and I have been through hell and back. I'm 28 yrs old and the first 25 yrs of my life, I have been in and out of the hospital. When I was young, I had thought that either God hated me or I did something in another lifetime to be in this tremendous physical pain. I was raised in the church, but no one really accepted me because I was so sick. And in return, I had rebelled towards God. Everyone rebels.
As I have matured and got older, I have realized that God gave me a medical problem for a reason. It saved me from myself. I learned how not to judge people and accept any creed and color. I was saved from being around the wrong crowd growing up and I never ever was a troubled kid. I had a great childhood. But I struggle everyday with nightmares and flashbacks. People have done me wrong, but my family has always been there for me no matter what.
My family and I have had this conversation about being ready and what will happened when I get to the pearly gates. I think I will be in the line, but Peter will say, "Ummm...Tameika, can you step to the side for a few minutes? We have somethings we need to confirm." I know God will have a laugh with me and about me. He will be shaking his head while laughing. I want to be ready when God calls me. Will you?
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