So, I have been on hiatus for a few months now and I have learned so much in this time. The first thing I learned was love can come when you aren't expecting it. In July, I was in a close friend's wedding and I loved being there to support her. I also loved seeing the tremendous love her family, her fiancee', and her finacee's family had for her. I was so excited to see her getting married because she had been through much and I just loved to see her happy. In the back of my head I was thinking, I want to have someone that loves me tremendously.
In August, I made one of the biggest and best decisions of my life. I decided to have heart surgery again because there was blue blood being blocked. I was so tired of having to stay in the bed half the day because I have a bad sinus or migraine headache. I was so tired of always having to catch my breath. I just wanted to be breathe normally and not get tired easily. I couldn't take anymore of the black outs because I have physically hurt myself because of them. So, on August 8, 2011 I had my 5th and last heart surgery. This time, they didn't have to open my chest up and I was able to recover faster. I'm now breathing at 95-100%. This was the first time I made the decision by myself, usually it would be my parents. What sacrifices they have made for me. I appreciate all their opinions and now I'm on the road of being able to take care of myself.
September, I found out who my true friends were. August was the month I found love and September was the test of it. I found myself in love with one of a girl friend's (at the time) ex. He and I were friends before, but we became the best of friends when I found out he had moved to North Carolina. I love the relationship we have because he is actually in love with me and not the concept of me. At first my girl friend was cool with it, until some people questioned her about it. First off, the so called friend and my cutie were ex's for a while. Secondly, I talked to her woman to woman about the whole situation. Thirdly, if she was my true friend, she wouldn't have gone behind my back and lied to look like a victim so people can feel sorry for her. I was truly hurt because we were friends for so long and she treated me like I was garbage.
All through the loving, recovery, and hurt I learned I have become a better and stronger person. I have so much confidence in myself, where before I had very low self-esteem. I learned to just take one day at a time. If you are going to worry, don't pray. Even though I no longer have a certain friendship, my life still goes on and I'm loving every moment of it!
