Know Your Worth

This is a letter to women everywhere who feel and act as though they aren't worth more than gold and rubies. You are priceless.

Dear Friend,

       Hi. How are you? I'm good. I'm writing to you because I hear you are down and out. I really hate to see a woman hate herself. Society has brain washed you into thinking you aren't a beautiful woman unless you are a size 2, shaking your ass in a music video, and/or having a sex tape out for the world to see. Look, not every woman has the body frame to be a size 2. Even Marylin Monroe, one of the biggest sex symbols in the world, wore a size 16. Real women have curves. You don't have to sell your soul just to get 15 minutes of fame. I don't think your parents raised you to be known as the woman who shakes her ass in a video, while men disrespect you and call you out your name. You should have more respect for yourself by learning how to make your money without taking off your clothes and shaking your ass. Your soul should not be for sell. You are a child of God, so act like it! Sex is an act you perform with someone you love. You shouldn't leak a sex video, so you can get a career. All you will be known as, is the woman who an suck and fuck very well. Really?!? It's not cute. God intended us to do our best with our mental abilities and not use our physical to get whatever we want.

       I also want to talk to you about the way you let men abuse you. You may have been raised in a single parent household without your father. You may not have known your father at all or your father may not have cared for you even though he is still living. Life is never fair. When you get in a relationship, you act as though since your father was missing all your life, now you have to find some father figure. Not only are you fooling yourself, but you are also fooling your partner into thinking you will have a healthy relationship. God always gives us substitutes in places we are lacking. If you need a father figure, there may have been a brother, cousin, or an uncle in your life who was a notable and loving man. You may have not realized it. Also, life is not about getting knocked up during high school or because you feel there is no other way to get out of your circumstances or to keep a man. If you are in high school , sex shouldn't be your priority, studying should be. You should have a plan to either go to college or learn a trade once you graduate. You need to learn how to take care of yourself first before you start to take care of a family. If you feel as though there is no way to get out of your circumstances, then you are hanging around the wrong people. Get around people you see are making a difference in their lives and others. There is no rule to say you need to have a man. If you feel you have to have a baby to keep a man, then that man is not for you. Not everyone is for you but you can learn from everyone. If you notice your man having baby after baby with many different women and you think he is going to stay with you because he places his head at your house, you are insane. This man has no respect for you and doesn't even care about himself so, how would he care for you? Lastly, always make sure you wrap it up when you have sex. If men don't care about themselves, they wouldn't care if they pass on a sexual transmitted disease to you.

So, I hope you take heed of all the issues I have talked about. You should be your main priority. Your life is precious and don't take it for granted. You're worth is priceless. Learn how to love yourself and God will take care of the rest.

Living Life

So, I have been on hiatus for a few months now and I have learned so much in this time. The first thing I learned was love can come when you aren't expecting it. In July, I was in a close friend's wedding and I loved being there to support her. I also loved seeing the tremendous love her family, her fiancee', and her finacee's family had for her. I was so excited to see her getting married because she had been through much and I just loved to see her happy. In the back of my head I was thinking, I want to have someone that loves me tremendously.

In August, I made one of the biggest and best decisions of my life. I decided to have heart surgery again because there was blue blood being blocked. I was so tired of having to stay in the bed half the day because I have a bad sinus or migraine headache. I was so tired of always having to catch my breath. I just wanted to be breathe normally and not get tired easily. I couldn't take anymore of the black outs because I have physically hurt myself because of them. So, on August 8, 2011 I had my 5th and last heart surgery. This time, they didn't have to open my chest up and I was able to recover faster. I'm now breathing at 95-100%. This was the first time I made the decision by myself, usually it would be my parents. What sacrifices they have made for me. I appreciate all their opinions and now I'm on the road of being able to take care of myself.

September, I found out who my true friends were. August was the month I found love and September was the test of it. I found myself in love with one of a girl friend's (at the time) ex. He and I were friends before, but we became the best of friends when I found out he had moved to North Carolina. I love the relationship we have because he is actually in love with me and not the concept of me. At first my  girl friend was cool with it, until some people questioned her about it. First off, the so called friend and my cutie were ex's for a while. Secondly, I talked to her woman to woman about the whole situation. Thirdly, if she was my true friend, she wouldn't have gone behind my back and lied to look like a victim so people can feel sorry for her. I was truly hurt because we were friends for so long and she treated me like I was garbage.

All through the loving, recovery, and hurt I learned I have become a better and stronger person. I have so much confidence in myself, where before I had very low self-esteem. I learned to just take one day at a time. If you are going to worry, don't pray. Even though I no longer have a certain friendship, my life still goes on and I'm loving every moment of it!