Less Than 60 Days

In less than 60 days, my life will make a big transition. I will become someone's wife and we will be on our own. It has been a long road for me to get here. In some ways l feel I am ready, and some ways I feel like I'm inexperienced. I really don't let the world into my personal business, but here is a look.

I have never been so stressed in my life until I started planning this wedding. At first, I didn't know where to start but I knew I had some time to plan because the wedding was a year and a half away from the date we got engaged, on my birthday November 18 2014. Then one of my fiancee's aunt said there was going to be a family reunion on a cruise ship. The dates of the cruise went along for the date we wanted to get married on. We thought that would be fun and decided to get married on the ship. We were saving up and then in August 2015 the craziest thing happen. The car that  I bought in 2013, from an accident, just broke down and there was nothing left to salvage. We were on the side of the road in the middle of the night, where it was pitch black and in the south. I was so scared when a police car rolled up because it took about 30 mins to get police on the phone. When we finally reached the police, we were barely off the phone before the police car arrived, plus I didn't know what to expect. We are in the times where police are killing us, African Americans, for no reason. The first thing my fiancee does is just walk up to the cop car. All I can think is, Jesus please don't let this policeman be trigger happy. To my relief, the policeman thought we were college students, kids, and tried to help us as much as he could. Eventually, all the money that we saved up had to go to a new car. We couldn't get married on the ship now, and plus the family cruise was cancelled.

So, by February 2016 we had to figure out if we were going to have a wedding at all. I got to the point where I was like, fuck this, let's just get married at the courthouse. But then, my mom felt bad and said she wanted me to have a wedding since I was her only biological child. So, we started planning with help from some of my friends. In the middle of planning, my great grandma, who was 105, passed away. I didn't cry as much because I knew she had lived a long life and she was going to a better place. I did start feeling extremely sad and feeling some type of way because I only have one grandparent left and she can't even talk. Planning had to be pushed back and the feeling of not wanting to have a wedding crept back into my mind. When I came back home from the funeral, I had to make a quick decision and the wedding was back on.

I reserved the hall with the quickness. But all the other vendors didn't call me back. I though that was strange because if you are a business and a potential client wants your business, I think it is a courtesy to call them back, even if you are booked to capacity. When I actually called the vendors back, one vendor said they had a meeting about my call but never called me back. So, eventually one hotel, one caterer, and Publix called me back. I just had a friend of mine who was a graphic designer, design the invitations. I just chalked everything up to it's a Charlotte thing and that everything is going to work itself out. It eventually is going to work out.

Anyway, the one thing that really took me for a loop is finding out who my real friends are. I lost a so called friend I had known for 30 years and who was going to actually help with planning the wedding. Apparently, this so called friend had a problem with me for years and didn't want to tell me because our families were close. We were so close I considered her my family. What you don't do, is tell Facebook about a misunderstanding and proceed to tell the world how bad a friend you think someone is to you. You have to remember it takes two to have friendship, though. I never once repaid her back because I wasn't raised to be that kind of woman and I know there is thing called Karma. I have felt so vulnerable that I have become an introvert when I'm usually a social butterfly. Now, that I'm blending families together the vulnerability became a little worse, but I'm working myself out of being an introvert.

So, as the days get closer to my wedding, I just left it up to God. I can't take the stress anymore and I was becoming a bitch. This is not me at all! I'm the happy go lucky chick, who loves to laugh, like a kid, and be positive. This is my first and last wedding. I am 34 just getting married and I'm so happy that I waited. I was able to live my life before I settled down. I have no regrets. This next level of life, I am praying will make be a better person than what I am now. This is my first time being someone's wife and this new venture is scary but also exciting. The people who come to the bridal shower and wedding are the people who love us and are supposed to be there. Now that I have gotten this off my chest, I feel so much better. Talk to you soon.

The Four Agreements

On tomorrow's show, Thursday October 3, I will be discussing the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz @ www.blogtalkradio.com/theycallmemscarter. If you want to voice your opinion/view please call in during the show at (646) 716-7273 or email at theycallmemscarter18@yahoo.com or just respond to this post. So, let's get the conversation started.

Many people feel as though they are caged in and aren't able to be free in their lives. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz will be able to free you from bondage. If you stick with these agreements on a daily basis, your life will start to change.

1. Be Impeccable With Your Word- Many people seem to not be committed to what they said they were going to do. If you just become a man/woman of your word, you will not have to tell lie or explain yourself. You will be respected more if you just kept your word.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally- This is extremely hard to do at first, but you have to learn not to take things personally. You have to learn that people act a certain way because of what they went through in life and it has nothing to do with you.

3. Don't Make Assumptions- Making assumptions is how you make an a** of yourself. So, if you don't understand anything just ask a question. Everything will be so simple.

4. Always Do Your Best- Make sure everything that you do, you give 100%. You give less than 100%, you will not get the full treatment.

Tune in to hear how you can apply these Four Agreements to your life. See you on the air waves!

Stop the Hate!

    Its Monday and today's theme is Stop the Hate! Life is really too short to put energy towards hating someone. Use the stored up energy and begin to become a better you. We also need to stop the racism because too many innocent people are continously being killed over it. I hope you had a great weekend and this blog helps start your week off right.

    If you are viewing this blog from your mobile phone, please click on the arrow near "Home" to view all the rest of the posts. Please be free to comment on any posts you choose. If you have a topic or great quote you would like to me write about, email at theycallmemscarter18@yahoo.com and put Topic or Great Quote in the heading. If you have any technical or any other problems email at mscarter11@hotmail.com. I hope you have a great day!


Love Always,

They Call Me Ms. Carter

Be Happy and Smile Today!

      Today's theme is about being happy. All the topics are about learning how to be happy with yourself, putting yourself first, and being happy with everything you do. Life is too short not to be happy with everything your God has given you. If you haven't smiled today, I hope these posts with help you.

     If you are viewing this blog from your mobile phone, please click on the arrow near "Home" to view all the rest of the posts. Please be free to comment on any posts you choose. If you have a topic or great quote you would like to me write about, email at theycallmemscarter18@yahoo.com and put Topic or Great Quote in the heading. If you have any technical or any other problems email at mscarter11@hotmail.com. I hope you have a great day!


Love Always,

They Call Me Ms. Carter

A New Year!

Hi everyone. I'm so grateful to be blessed to see a New Year! The old events of last year are behind me and now I'm looking forward to the new events of this new year. Every year I, we, make new year's resolutions and seem to never keep them. We get disappointed in ourselves and just stop moving forward. So, I decided in 2007, I would do something that would not only help me reach my goals, but never disappoint myself.

I decided to create a vision board. I was watching an Oprah show, when it was on, one week and I saw this woman had created a vision board. The board was pictures of goals she had for herself and wanted to obtain in her life. It worked! So, I was at a turning point in life. I wanted to my Bachelor's degree to be useful in my life and I just wanted to get health insurance so my health would not continue to deteriorate. I wanted to be in a meaning relationship with someone who would be faithful to me only and be trustworthy. I had these God given talents and wanted to be able to use them the way God intended. So, I created my own vision board.

It took me until 2011 for my vision board to come into fruition because there were somethings and people I needed to get out of my life. I'm a loyal person who holds onto society's view of life and people because I have learned not take anything and/or anyone for granted. But I had to realize not everyone was supposed to go with me on my journey like my mom and uncle Greg told me. Trying to reach society's goals for myself was driving me insane. I had to come to grips that society's goals and my goals were totally different. In order for me to keep sane, I had to choose to obtain my goals for my life! I also had to learn how to be still and wait on God. The waiting part was hard for me because I felt I always seemed to get the short end of the stick. God taught me by waiting, I would get whatever I need and desire from him in due time.

When you make your vision board, you can't show everyone. You can show the people you trust like your mom and/or best friend. Some people are just going be haters. There are some people who just don't want to see anyone succeed as long as they aren't in the high position they feel they should have.Your vision has to be marinated before it comes into fruition, so you have to wait. While you are waiting, you should go and help those in need. You can help by donating clothes, volunteer at a soup kitchen, give a friend a ride to work, be a listener to a friend or family member, adopt a pet, etc. Helping others will not only make you feel good about yourself, but it will also help you get the blessings God has in store for you.

So, instead of making resolutions, make a vision board. This way, you can see how many goals you can accomplish in the year. You will not accomplish all your goals in a year, but you will not disappoint yourself. Get rid of the dead weight of society's view of you and malicious people out so you can move forward positively in your life.Understand, your other goals are on the way and you will be able to have a fulfilling life God has always wanted for you. Make your board today!

Living Life

So, I have been on hiatus for a few months now and I have learned so much in this time. The first thing I learned was love can come when you aren't expecting it. In July, I was in a close friend's wedding and I loved being there to support her. I also loved seeing the tremendous love her family, her fiancee', and her finacee's family had for her. I was so excited to see her getting married because she had been through much and I just loved to see her happy. In the back of my head I was thinking, I want to have someone that loves me tremendously.

In August, I made one of the biggest and best decisions of my life. I decided to have heart surgery again because there was blue blood being blocked. I was so tired of having to stay in the bed half the day because I have a bad sinus or migraine headache. I was so tired of always having to catch my breath. I just wanted to be breathe normally and not get tired easily. I couldn't take anymore of the black outs because I have physically hurt myself because of them. So, on August 8, 2011 I had my 5th and last heart surgery. This time, they didn't have to open my chest up and I was able to recover faster. I'm now breathing at 95-100%. This was the first time I made the decision by myself, usually it would be my parents. What sacrifices they have made for me. I appreciate all their opinions and now I'm on the road of being able to take care of myself.

September, I found out who my true friends were. August was the month I found love and September was the test of it. I found myself in love with one of a girl friend's (at the time) ex. He and I were friends before, but we became the best of friends when I found out he had moved to North Carolina. I love the relationship we have because he is actually in love with me and not the concept of me. At first my  girl friend was cool with it, until some people questioned her about it. First off, the so called friend and my cutie were ex's for a while. Secondly, I talked to her woman to woman about the whole situation. Thirdly, if she was my true friend, she wouldn't have gone behind my back and lied to look like a victim so people can feel sorry for her. I was truly hurt because we were friends for so long and she treated me like I was garbage.

All through the loving, recovery, and hurt I learned I have become a better and stronger person. I have so much confidence in myself, where before I had very low self-esteem. I learned to just take one day at a time. If you are going to worry, don't pray. Even though I no longer have a certain friendship, my life still goes on and I'm loving every moment of it!

Is Chivalry Dead?

A few weeks ago I went on a date and I thought it was ok. Let me tell you what happened. So, on a Saturday night I hung out with this guy at the movies and he ended up paying for my ticket, which was nice. After the movies, we just sat and talked, just having fun. On Sunday, we went to brunch, but it was a little weird.

First off, I'm small and he had an suv. Instead of helping me into the suv, he watched me slide out of the suv. Laughed and said, "You have to be careful." Really? Then he drove all the way to the restaurant without his wallet. He said, "I can't find my wallet." Come on! I just paid for the meal because not only did he not have his wallet, but I wanted him to know I can take of myself.

To me, I think chivalry is dead. I don't see any men opening doors for women. Just because we say that we are independent, doesn't mean you treat us as though we don't need any help. I also see how men talk to me women. For example, a guy sees a woman/girl and says, "Hey shawty. Come here!" WTF?!? Are we your pets? Don't call me over like I'm your dog and don't look at me like I'm the last piece of meat on earth that you want to devour. Show some class.

In my mother's day, the men courted the women. They took time to talk to the woman, spit their game, and took care of their women. Now a day, some men can't wait to jump in bed with you. If you don't sleep with some men on their time, they automatically stop being nice to you and call you a bitch.

Now, I know there are a hand full who are men of chilvary. But where are they? They are either taken or gay. Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm not. Tell what do you think.

Law of Attraction

My mom and I just finished watching this movie called the Secret. It was great and uplifting, which was also a book. But there is this great secret all of the greats (such as Martin Luther and Einstein) truely understand. It is called the Law of Attraction, meaning whatever you think the universe will respond by giving you your wish. Its like in the movies, when a person rubs a lamp and a genie pops out saying, "Your wish is my command."

At first, I thought this couldn't work but it actually does. For example, when I was a kid I would always pray to God, "Please get me out of here (New York). This is not the life I want." I also prayed to God, "If I leave for college, I want my mom to come with me." I don't remember how long I prayed for me to get out of New York, but I prayed for two years for my mom to come with me when I left for college. Next thing I know, my mom's new job (only there for 2yrs) decides to send some people to Charlotte, North Carolina because there was going to be a new home base there. This was told to my mom January 1999 and we had to give a reponse by March of 1999. 1999 was the year I was graduating from high school. So, I did get what I wanted. I got out of New York and my mom was coming along with me for the ride.

The main thing about Law of Attraction is if you are grateful for everything you have now, then good will come back onto you. This means, if you are having a bad day, then get out a pen and paper, write down a gratitude list. The list will make you forget why you were even having a bad day. If you can't see yourself writing a list, then listen to the music you like, read your favorite book, or even watch a funny movie. Put yourself in a place where you have good thoughts.

Your thoughts are what shape you and your life. If you have a gloomy way or look at your life half empty, this the lifestyle you are heading into, a chained/caged life. If you are free or look at life half full, then your life and opportunities are limitless. So, I'm encouraging you all to start having happy thoughts. Surround yourselves with positive things/people and positivity will always come straight back to you.

Have you ever had your own example of Law of Attraction? Please tell.....=)

Can Women Get Along With Each Other?

I want to talk about a subject that has been on my mind for a while. Now, I'm no prissy chick, I love my sports and just chillin. The one thing I can't understand since elementary school is that some girls/women just can't get along with other girls/women. I always couldn't figure out why many girls at school hated me. I mean they hated me to a point where I didn't even want to go to school and I started hating myself. As, I have grown up I realized so many things about other women, it seems funny.

To me, I think some women are very caddy to one another. Its as if one has to bite the shit out of all the other pups just to be called the "top bitch." Some feel we(women) all have to look one way just to be called beautiful. If we look too eccentric,then we are the black sheep of the group.The other thing I observed is, once we are in a group, we become very clickish. One chick is the dominate and she becomes the head of the group. The other chicks seem to have no opinion of their own and just seem to think the exact way of the dominate. Its as if the dominate is held up on a pedestal.

Now, when men get into the equation, its like we as women are going in for our last meal.We do all these crazy things to look a certain way, for other women? Its like women want you to love to hate them. She wants you to look at her and think,"Yes, I have a man, but I can also get your man,too." Everything is a competition. We poke our chest out, walk around with much arrogance, and we are oblivious to the world around us. Why do we have to look as though we are desperate to get a man? Why do we have to always chase our friends man? Why do we feel the need to make one woman look bad just to get a man?

To me, I think that women can get along, just as soon as some women start feeling defensive towards one another. I think we as women can get along as soon as we realize that having a man is not everything in life. I think, women can get along. What do you think?