So, I'm 28 yrs old and I get asked these questions all the time, "How come you aren't married? and When are you going to have kids?" Ummmm.....why are people asking so many questions? and why are they trying to get into my business? What they really need to do is just stop worrying about what I'm doing and worry about their own lives. But the questions still urk me.
What really gets under skin, is when the people who are in terrible marriages judge me for not being in a terrible marriage like them. Its like they want me to go insane everyday of my life. I thought marriage was supposed to be a sacred, uplifting, and beautiful part of life. I didn't know that you had to live like you are about to pull your hair out all the time. Has our world got to the point where marriages are just a joke?
As I was growing up, I was exposed to different relationships. One type of a relationship I saw was were the couple was married for a long time, but they only stayed together because of the children and old society ways were all they knew. They cuss, scream, and degrade one another and then 20 minutes later they are all lovey dovey. WTF? Everything was split down the middle as far as bank accounts and paying bills. This type of relationship would make me either want a divorce or just walk away from it all together. I mean what is the point of being married if you don't trust your spouse.
The second kind of relationship I saw was the common law marriage. This is when people stay together for a long period of time, but don't have a marriage license. You know it is really up to the people in the relationship to either get married or not. The third kind of of relationship I saw was a marriage where people are loving, caring, uplifting, trusting, and working together for their family. Not to say the common law marriage couple didn't do the same.
If I ever get married, I want a healthy marriage. Screaming and yelling is not only unnecessary but it takes too much time, effort, and energy that I don't have or don't even want to spend. If I choose to have kids, then that is mine and my husband's decision. If I don't have kids, that's our choice too. I'm going to be happy with how I live my life and not please others. Just because I don't have kids or have the option not to have any, doesn't mean something is wrong with me or I'm a bad person. It just means what every happens in my life is meant just for me. What do you think?
I too have seen marriages just like the ones described, yet I have found being married and viewing it is too different things. I agree with you that when you get married and what you do i that marriage is between you and the one you choose to share your life with. Awesome post, you could teach about this. Peace and Blessings (Titus)
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