Relationships: The Good, The Ugly, & The Unconditional Vol. 1

 

On November 3, 2013, I published my first E-book on Amazon.com. It is a collection on 10 articles I wrote on my relationship column on Examiner.com: http://www.examiner.com/african-american-relationships-in-charlotte/tameika-carter. I have been going to radio shows to promote the book. Here are some of the shows  just in case you missed them:

1. Got Controversy:

     (1/4/2014)- http://www.blogtalkradio.com/gotcontroversy/2014/01/04/abuse-why-is-it-accepted-and-tolerated-by-women

      (1/6/2014)- http://www.blogtalkradio.com/gotcontroversy/2014/01/06/teach-me-how-to-love-you

2. Spirit Soul Radio:

      (1/9/2014)- http://www.blogtalkradio.com/diandrasmith-hall/2014/01/09/relationships-the-good-the-ugly-the-unconditional-with-tameika-carter

3. Stilettos in the City:

      (1/14/2014)- http://www.blogtalkradio.com/stilettosincity/2014/01/14/relationship-author-tameika-carter

4. This Needs To Be Said:

      (1/17/2014)- http://www.blogtalkradio.com/thisneedstobesaid/2014/01/17/relationship-round-table-with-stephan-labossiere

Now that you have heard what is in the book, don't forget to go and buy the book on Amazon, now! http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_16?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=relationships+the+good+the+ugly+%26+the+unconditional&sprefix=relationships+th%2Caps%2C271&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Arelationships+the+good+the+ugly+%26+the+unconditional.

Until next time, continue to love one another! 

Interracial Relationships

Join us today at 1pm http://www.blogtalkradio.com/meika10 for our discussion of Interracial Relationships. If you want to voice your opinion during the discussion please call in @ (646) 716-7273 or email theycallmemscarter18@yahoo.com or chat with me during the conversation or just reply to this post.

So, let's start the conversation. In America race is a big issue in society. There are many stereotypes of each race that other races believe or assume are true about  a certain race. So, marrying outside your race was a taboo subject and law until the 1967 Supreme Court decision that miscegenation laws were unconstitutional. Now a day, 8.4% of marriages in America are of interracial couples compared to the 3.2% in 1980. Interracial marriages and relationships are not taboo but a rarity, but each passing year its less of a rarity.

Do you agree with an interracial relationship? Or Do you oppose? Or Do you have don't care at all? Please let me know. I hope to see you on the air waves at 1pm.

Is Chivalry Dead?

A few weeks ago I went on a date and I thought it was ok. Let me tell you what happened. So, on a Saturday night I hung out with this guy at the movies and he ended up paying for my ticket, which was nice. After the movies, we just sat and talked, just having fun. On Sunday, we went to brunch, but it was a little weird.

First off, I'm small and he had an suv. Instead of helping me into the suv, he watched me slide out of the suv. Laughed and said, "You have to be careful." Really? Then he drove all the way to the restaurant without his wallet. He said, "I can't find my wallet." Come on! I just paid for the meal because not only did he not have his wallet, but I wanted him to know I can take of myself.

To me, I think chivalry is dead. I don't see any men opening doors for women. Just because we say that we are independent, doesn't mean you treat us as though we don't need any help. I also see how men talk to me women. For example, a guy sees a woman/girl and says, "Hey shawty. Come here!" WTF?!? Are we your pets? Don't call me over like I'm your dog and don't look at me like I'm the last piece of meat on earth that you want to devour. Show some class.

In my mother's day, the men courted the women. They took time to talk to the woman, spit their game, and took care of their women. Now a day, some men can't wait to jump in bed with you. If you don't sleep with some men on their time, they automatically stop being nice to you and call you a bitch.

Now, I know there are a hand full who are men of chilvary. But where are they? They are either taken or gay. Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm not. Tell what do you think.

Did God Program Men to Cheat?

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with one of my guy friends. He said even though he has a girlfriend and a beautiful baby, he has this inkling to want to sleep with more women. He said God made him want to cheat and that maybe we aren't supposed to be with one person our whole lives. My first response was, "Wow! I didn't know God would make anyone want to cheat on their significant other?" But this is what I told him:

"God did not make us to be pimps or whores. He did not make us to want to indulge with many sexual partners. It is us, who do not have self-control. We are so into, we have to have the best of everything, even have the baddest and best men/women on our arms. Sex is not meant to be game of who can get the most points and the most number of people."

I'm so tired of people making excuses for why they cheat. It is not right to cheat. If you do not want to be in the relationship anymore, just say it. I'm sure your mate will be hurt a little by you telling the truth, but will be devastated if you stay and make the cheating your mate's fault. People just need to take more responsibility for their actions.

By the end of our conversation, my guy friend realized he was to blame for wanting to sleep with more women. I'm not sure if he cheated or not, but I hope he didn't. I think everyone has their own flaws and we have our own temptations. We have God to help us not to indulge in our temptations. God did not program us to cheat! God programed us to be monogamous people.

Do you think God program men (man and woman) to cheat? Let me know your opinion. Thanks!

Your Health

I have some issues about people's health I want to address. The first thing is about women. A couple of doctors have told some of my friends that its not recommended to have a physical/pap smear once a year. Now, I don't know why these doctors would say that but I have a cousin who is a gynecologist, a grandma who is a retired nurse, and an uncle who is a retired physician. They have always told me that once a woman becomes sexually active, she should get a physical/pap smear once a year. Women, you want to make sure that you don't have an std like (HPV) Human papillomvirus which is very common for both women and men. There are 200 known types of HPV that cause no symptoms in people but can lead to cancer of the cervix, vulva, vagina, and anus in women. You also want to make sure you don't have any other STD and make sure the vagina is still in tact.

I have also heard some women don't chart their cycle, but it reality it helps. It helps you to be in tuned with your body. It also helps you figure out what is going on in your body. For example, if I didn't chart, the doctors wouldn't have found the fibroid and get it fixed. Also, I have noticed stress is a big killer of women. We women need to learn how to relax. We need to learn how to find a hobby that will make us happy and help release all the tension in our bodies.

Now, on to men. Men are a piece of work when it comes to their health. They don't want to go and get a physical because they feel bending over is not masculine. So, they rather keep getting sick just so they can say they are real men. Please, get over yourselves. Bend over to get your prostate a exam once a year or keep letting your medical bills keep you in debt. I would rather be healthy. Men can also catch HPV, too. It can lead to cancer in the anus. Also, men over 45 need to have a colonoscopy every three years. Men 55 and over need have a colonoscopy every year, especially if your family has a history of cancer.

Last thing, I want everyone to know their status when it comes to sex. If you are grown enough to lay down, then you should be grown enough to be responsible for your own health. I'm so tired of hearing how people make excuses as to why they have an STD. It's different if you get it during a bllod infusion. If you aren't married to someone, then use a condom all the time. Birth control pills don't protect you from getting an STD. It just prevents you from getting pregnant.

I hope this blog gets people to be more in tuned and be more responsible for your own health. I want you to have a long healthy life and you should want the same.

Does Size Matter?

One of my guy friends, who reads this blog, told me I need to write a topic that will spice things up. So, this one is for you babe. On Saturday night, a few of my friends and I went clubbing. My friend's cousin asked, "Most women do not like big men because they think a big man would have a small penis. Is this true?"

Well, to me, I'm very different, but the size doesn't matter. It's more of the man's motion. The reason why I say this is because some men that have big penises don't know what to do with it. They are totally clueless. Then sometimes when a man that has a big penis knows what he is doing, but treats you like shit. I mean, who wants that? I have also found out that smaller men pack more than average size men. Its kind of like they make up for the lack of height.

Some men also act like idiots and make some women not want to have sex all together. Just because a man has a big penis might mean he may not have a mind. Some men feel like they are God's gift to women when they know can work the middle and do it all too well. Who wants to sleep with a man who gives great sex, but can't hold a conversation? Who wants to sleep with a man who sleeps with everyone and their momma? Ummmm...that's disgusting, but not me!

So, does size really matter? I would love to know.