Know Your Worth

This is a letter to women everywhere who feel and act as though they aren't worth more than gold and rubies. You are priceless.

Dear Friend,

       Hi. How are you? I'm good. I'm writing to you because I hear you are down and out. I really hate to see a woman hate herself. Society has brain washed you into thinking you aren't a beautiful woman unless you are a size 2, shaking your ass in a music video, and/or having a sex tape out for the world to see. Look, not every woman has the body frame to be a size 2. Even Marylin Monroe, one of the biggest sex symbols in the world, wore a size 16. Real women have curves. You don't have to sell your soul just to get 15 minutes of fame. I don't think your parents raised you to be known as the woman who shakes her ass in a video, while men disrespect you and call you out your name. You should have more respect for yourself by learning how to make your money without taking off your clothes and shaking your ass. Your soul should not be for sell. You are a child of God, so act like it! Sex is an act you perform with someone you love. You shouldn't leak a sex video, so you can get a career. All you will be known as, is the woman who an suck and fuck very well. Really?!? It's not cute. God intended us to do our best with our mental abilities and not use our physical to get whatever we want.

       I also want to talk to you about the way you let men abuse you. You may have been raised in a single parent household without your father. You may not have known your father at all or your father may not have cared for you even though he is still living. Life is never fair. When you get in a relationship, you act as though since your father was missing all your life, now you have to find some father figure. Not only are you fooling yourself, but you are also fooling your partner into thinking you will have a healthy relationship. God always gives us substitutes in places we are lacking. If you need a father figure, there may have been a brother, cousin, or an uncle in your life who was a notable and loving man. You may have not realized it. Also, life is not about getting knocked up during high school or because you feel there is no other way to get out of your circumstances or to keep a man. If you are in high school , sex shouldn't be your priority, studying should be. You should have a plan to either go to college or learn a trade once you graduate. You need to learn how to take care of yourself first before you start to take care of a family. If you feel as though there is no way to get out of your circumstances, then you are hanging around the wrong people. Get around people you see are making a difference in their lives and others. There is no rule to say you need to have a man. If you feel you have to have a baby to keep a man, then that man is not for you. Not everyone is for you but you can learn from everyone. If you notice your man having baby after baby with many different women and you think he is going to stay with you because he places his head at your house, you are insane. This man has no respect for you and doesn't even care about himself so, how would he care for you? Lastly, always make sure you wrap it up when you have sex. If men don't care about themselves, they wouldn't care if they pass on a sexual transmitted disease to you.

So, I hope you take heed of all the issues I have talked about. You should be your main priority. Your life is precious and don't take it for granted. You're worth is priceless. Learn how to love yourself and God will take care of the rest.

Who Does This?

So, the other day I was having a conversation with a friend and I found out some crazy ass information. Now, what I'm going to tell you actually happened. Its not a joke or a hoax. Now, being single has it's perks where you can make any decisions you want and not have to answer to anyone. Well, there is a female who took popping off with someone to the extreme. So, she wanted to get some with a guy she just met, but didn't have or get a babysitter. This female took her few month old baby with her and had the baby in the room while she popped it off with this guy she met.


Ok. I'm baffled at this situation. First off, you never take your child with you when you going to get some, especially a baby. Secondly, that's child endangerment because you are taking your child to a random person's house and putting that child in an uncompromising situation. My thing is this: if she wanted to pop it off with a person so badly, she should have found a babysitter or just not get some that day. Maybe it wasn't meant for her to get some from that particular guy. I think she should have thought twice before making this decision.

Sex is not a game out here. Now a day, you can die from not making the right decisions about sex. Young women, if you have a child, please don't take your child with you during a popping off session. You should have more respect for yourself and your child.


What would you do? What are your thoughts on this topic? Please let me know.

Living Life

So, I have been on hiatus for a few months now and I have learned so much in this time. The first thing I learned was love can come when you aren't expecting it. In July, I was in a close friend's wedding and I loved being there to support her. I also loved seeing the tremendous love her family, her fiancee', and her finacee's family had for her. I was so excited to see her getting married because she had been through much and I just loved to see her happy. In the back of my head I was thinking, I want to have someone that loves me tremendously.

In August, I made one of the biggest and best decisions of my life. I decided to have heart surgery again because there was blue blood being blocked. I was so tired of having to stay in the bed half the day because I have a bad sinus or migraine headache. I was so tired of always having to catch my breath. I just wanted to be breathe normally and not get tired easily. I couldn't take anymore of the black outs because I have physically hurt myself because of them. So, on August 8, 2011 I had my 5th and last heart surgery. This time, they didn't have to open my chest up and I was able to recover faster. I'm now breathing at 95-100%. This was the first time I made the decision by myself, usually it would be my parents. What sacrifices they have made for me. I appreciate all their opinions and now I'm on the road of being able to take care of myself.

September, I found out who my true friends were. August was the month I found love and September was the test of it. I found myself in love with one of a girl friend's (at the time) ex. He and I were friends before, but we became the best of friends when I found out he had moved to North Carolina. I love the relationship we have because he is actually in love with me and not the concept of me. At first my  girl friend was cool with it, until some people questioned her about it. First off, the so called friend and my cutie were ex's for a while. Secondly, I talked to her woman to woman about the whole situation. Thirdly, if she was my true friend, she wouldn't have gone behind my back and lied to look like a victim so people can feel sorry for her. I was truly hurt because we were friends for so long and she treated me like I was garbage.

All through the loving, recovery, and hurt I learned I have become a better and stronger person. I have so much confidence in myself, where before I had very low self-esteem. I learned to just take one day at a time. If you are going to worry, don't pray. Even though I no longer have a certain friendship, my life still goes on and I'm loving every moment of it!

Is Chivalry Dead?

A few weeks ago I went on a date and I thought it was ok. Let me tell you what happened. So, on a Saturday night I hung out with this guy at the movies and he ended up paying for my ticket, which was nice. After the movies, we just sat and talked, just having fun. On Sunday, we went to brunch, but it was a little weird.

First off, I'm small and he had an suv. Instead of helping me into the suv, he watched me slide out of the suv. Laughed and said, "You have to be careful." Really? Then he drove all the way to the restaurant without his wallet. He said, "I can't find my wallet." Come on! I just paid for the meal because not only did he not have his wallet, but I wanted him to know I can take of myself.

To me, I think chivalry is dead. I don't see any men opening doors for women. Just because we say that we are independent, doesn't mean you treat us as though we don't need any help. I also see how men talk to me women. For example, a guy sees a woman/girl and says, "Hey shawty. Come here!" WTF?!? Are we your pets? Don't call me over like I'm your dog and don't look at me like I'm the last piece of meat on earth that you want to devour. Show some class.

In my mother's day, the men courted the women. They took time to talk to the woman, spit their game, and took care of their women. Now a day, some men can't wait to jump in bed with you. If you don't sleep with some men on their time, they automatically stop being nice to you and call you a bitch.

Now, I know there are a hand full who are men of chilvary. But where are they? They are either taken or gay. Maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm not. Tell what do you think.

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

This past Mother's Day weekend, I had the pleasure to be in a play called "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places." It was written, choreographed, and produced by Melissa Huggins, who is a native of New Jersey. Melissa and her crew, Tracy White & Dawn Johnson, all moved to Charlotte a year ago for a change of scenery. Mrs. Huggins is the founder of Body Language Productions in 1982, which is a Christian based.

I have been in many performances before, but I have really enjoyed working with this group of performers. We all have seem to left our egos at the door. We seem to listen to one another. No one has ever tried to be a Chief when they were an Indian. We gave each other constructive criticism and therefore we grew as performers. We encouraged each other when someone was lacking.

The play went well. It was performed at the Boothe Theatre inside the Blumental in Charlotte, NC May 6 and May 7 at 8pm. Every night I came home smiling because I knew I was working, but having fun. Everyone stepped up their game. I now have a theatre family, just like my dancing family. A few years ago, I had a horrible experince with a theatre cast, and now I have come out of my shell. Thank-you everyone. I can't wait to see everyone two weeks from now at the cast party. Love ya'll. =)

Did God Program Men to Cheat?

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with one of my guy friends. He said even though he has a girlfriend and a beautiful baby, he has this inkling to want to sleep with more women. He said God made him want to cheat and that maybe we aren't supposed to be with one person our whole lives. My first response was, "Wow! I didn't know God would make anyone want to cheat on their significant other?" But this is what I told him:

"God did not make us to be pimps or whores. He did not make us to want to indulge with many sexual partners. It is us, who do not have self-control. We are so into, we have to have the best of everything, even have the baddest and best men/women on our arms. Sex is not meant to be game of who can get the most points and the most number of people."

I'm so tired of people making excuses for why they cheat. It is not right to cheat. If you do not want to be in the relationship anymore, just say it. I'm sure your mate will be hurt a little by you telling the truth, but will be devastated if you stay and make the cheating your mate's fault. People just need to take more responsibility for their actions.

By the end of our conversation, my guy friend realized he was to blame for wanting to sleep with more women. I'm not sure if he cheated or not, but I hope he didn't. I think everyone has their own flaws and we have our own temptations. We have God to help us not to indulge in our temptations. God did not program us to cheat! God programed us to be monogamous people.

Do you think God program men (man and woman) to cheat? Let me know your opinion. Thanks!

African-Americans vs. Ourselves

The other day I was watching this video on high school kids talking horribly about one another. Its the age old duel of dark skinned people vs. light skinned people. WTF? Its 2011 and we still are hating on each other. African-Americans are the only race who hate on each other no apparent reasons. We seem not to want to help each other because of fear the other person will get higher up on the chain of life.

We have taken what the slave master has done and said to divide us and we have kept the division. During slavery, the slave masters would breed us like animals because we were seen as property and even treated worse than animals. Slave masters would rape us and once the mixed children arrived, they would divide us by color so we wouldn't communicate with each other. They called us black back then, meaning evil, so that we can feel and think we are inferior to them.

During the Civil Rights Era, we really learned how to stick together as a race. We trusted one another and if a person was lacking, we would make sure there was help around the corner. Now, we just act as though the civil rights era didn't exist. Some of us walk around as though we don't have any home training. We cuss, argue, and murder each other at a drop of a dime. Though every race gets their language, style, music, everyday living items, etc...from us, they are laughing at us.

We need to change our way of thinking. Here are some ways:

(1) Children do not see color, they are taught to see it.---We need to show our children that every race and color needs to be accepted. No one color or race is greater.

(2) We, African-Americans, need to learn how to love one another.---We are not each other's enemy. We have to learn how to stick together. For example, I never see a Jewish-American hate on another Jewish-American. They would actually help the other get a job or help the other out spiritually and emotionally.

(3) We also need to learn how to respect one another.---When I was growing up, you couldn't talk back with out getting the tate slapped out of your mouth. We need to teach these kids who are having babies how to raise their children. Don't think that once your teenager birth's a child you are done raising your child. Don't let them fend on their own.

(4) We need to get our focus back on God and not on who has the most money. We need to learn how to love ourselves.

So, in ending, God didn't make us to hate one another and/or ourselves. Be grateful for your life and don't take it for granted.

P.S.- If you want to see the video here it goes: http://youtu.be/ev5v59k0uMc